A friend is hosting a co-ed baby shower for us soon. We live well out-of-state from most relatives, but have many friends in the area (male, female, and couples) that we’d like to invite to what is essentially a party to celebrate the upcoming birth. This is our first child, so obviously gifts are very welcome, but not necessary. Is it poor form to send baby showshower invitations” href=”http://www.bumpercards.com” target=”_blank”>baby shower invitations (with registry info) to those who we know won’t make it? Many are relatives and friends that may want to send gifts anyway, but I don’t want to appear like we’re just fishing for gifts. Relatives (that won’t make it) include aunts/uncles, a few cousins, etc. Friends (that won’t make it) are people we’d invite and want there if they lived in our area. Do I send only to those in the area, and wait for the others to inquire about sending a gift? Or, do I send to everyone regardless and risk letting them think I’m just soliciting gifts? Any other suggestions?
We know they won’t attend because we live several states away (2-day drive) from our immediate family and other relatives. We don’t want to exclude them from this event, but their being there is highly unlikely. I like the idea of a pre-birth announcement, though – thanks!
Just responding to “women only” thing – my husband DOES want to be there (he’ll be there for everything else- why not this?). We both have guy and girl friends who want to celebrate, and the host is not planning any silly or girly games. Just a party for us – the couple and parents-to-be! None of the guy friends we’ve mentioned it to seemed at all put off by the idea. Welcome to the 21st century!
Send the invites….but NOT the registry info. Your relatives will contact your mom if they want to know this. It would be in really poor taste and would really, really look like you were begging for a gift. They will send one, probably, but they will send what they want to send. That is okay…not everyone has to get things off the registry. They may wait until after baby is born, as well…..still very much okay!!
Including registry info in the shower invite is not in great taste because people will ultimately get you what they want to get you. If they need to know where you are registered….they know to call the hostess whose number is listed as the RSVP.
Hope that helped!!
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December 19th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
How do you know they won't make it. My wife goes nuts over that baby shower stuff. I would send the invitations any way . Then you won't get in trouble for not inviting them.
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December 19th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Send everyone invitations. Put at the bottom that gifts are appreciated but not necessary, that there presence will be gift enough..
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December 19th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Honestly, I hear about this during weddings, but never for a baby shower. Also, most all of the time, a baby shower is given by friends and family of the female gender. To me, sending idea;s of wanted or needed items is somewhat tacky. Although I can understand you reason, why don't you just let them ask or wait for the results. If you get two items like two car seats, call the person and let them know what your dilemma is. I'm sure they would let you know where the purchased the item so that you could exchange it for what you need.
Good luck and I hope it doesn't offend you to hear it like this.
Have a good day!
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December 19th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I would only send to folks who have a reasonable hope of attending. I think a better bet is to send everyone a picture of the baby after the birth. That won't have the feel of a solicitation.
Congratulations. Hope it all goes well.
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December 19th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I would send invitations only to those that live close by, however, I would send pre birth anouncements to the people out of state. without gift regestries. that way If they want, they could inquire from your Mother , close relitive ect… about what you may need, without feeling any presure. If you know what your having, thats even better.
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December 19th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
No co-ed baby showers!!!!!!
Invite women only.
Men want nothing to do with baby showers.
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December 19th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Send the invites….but NOT the registry info. Your relatives will contact your mom if they want to know this. It would be in really poor taste and would really, really look like you were begging for a gift. They will send one, probably, but they will send what they want to send. That is okay…not everyone has to get things off the registry. They may wait until after baby is born, as well…..still very much okay!!
Including registry info in the shower invite is not in great taste because people will ultimately get you what they want to get you. If they need to know where you are registered….they know to call the hostess whose number is listed as the RSVP.
Hope that helped!!
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http://www.diapercakesbybecca.com
December 19th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Leave off the registry info. Instead put R.S.V. P. to …. and put a phone number. That way, if they are unable to make it and want to send a gift, they can call to get registry information.
Go ahead and send invitations to everyone even if they are out of state. That way, you don't have to worry about hurting someone's feelings. Some people keep (collect) invitations to things like that.
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December 19th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Send invitations to everyone. People don't get offended by getting an invitation, but may get offended if they don't. A couple's shower is fully acceptable, and you would address the invitation to both of them.
Don't put the registry info in the invitations, just the RSVP phone number, which should NOT BE YOU. Then the person can tell them where you are registered. Most people register at Babies R Us and will look for your registry there anyway. If you must include registry info, don't do it in the far away invites.
BTW, I have flown several times to attend showers, don't assume they won't come.
Good luck and congrats on the new baby!
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December 19th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Only people who like babies and have money for gifts.
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December 19th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
OK here comes the old party pooper again…
I'm old fashioned I guess… 'pre-birth' announcements are absolutely ridiculous…not be be negative but it's jumping the gun.. you don't have a baby yet! Besides everyone who is interested in knowing about the baby will want the whole shebang – picture, name, statistics, gender… and I'm sure you'll get the same result from sending the announcements as from sending invites to people who won't come!
Wait til baby comes… send the announcements.. you'll still get gifts but you won't look greedy! And don't send registry info either… tacky tacky!
Congratulations on your new addition
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